Friday, July 15, 2005

Books You Won't See Soon

The Internet Monk recently posted on "Books that WON'T be published anytime soon." Some were quite amusing. Other bloggers have joined in the fun and I've listed some of the best below. Some will make sense to you, others will not.
  • Humor for the Pulpit by John Piper
  • It Doesn't Matter and What If It Did? by Al Mohler
  • Systematic Theology by Benny Hinn
  • Slain in the Spirit by John MacArthur
  • Tattooing: The Devil's Own Artform by Derek Webb
  • Topical Preaching 101 by Al Mohler
  • What I Really Believe by Brian McLaren
  • Becoming The Woman of His Dreams by Joyce Meyers
  • Attractive Web Design by James White and the Alpha & Omega Staff
  • What's Wrong With Rick Warren? by Richard Abanes
  • Living on a Budget by Joel Osteen
  • Towards a Modern Form of Textual Criticism by Peter Ruckman
  • The Trinity: Explained, Defended, and Applied by Phillips, Craig, and Dean
  • Perpetual Poverty: Why I Took My Vows by Creflo Dollar
  • I Am Only A Man by Kenneth Copeland
  • 1 Corinthians 14: A Model for Worship by the pastoral staff of the Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship
  • SALVATION! The Best Choice I Ever Made General Editor: Wayne Grudem (With contributions from John Piper, John MacArthur, R.C. Sproul, Albert Mohler, and James White. Introduction by Phil Johnson)
  • Biblical Hermeneutics: You Can't just Make Stuff Up by Bruce Wilkinson
  • Play the Field! by Joshua Harris
Some I thought of:
  • The Exegetical Fallacies of Calvinism by Norm Geisler
  • Calvinism Defined and Defended by Adrian Rogers
  • Demons I Don't Know By Name by Win Worley (see here)
  • The Regulative Principle of Worship by Rick Warren (see here)
  • Sometimes I Need a Good Cry by John Eldredge
  • You're Still Here?: The False Teaching of the Pretribulational Rapture by Tim LaHaye
  • The Christian's Guide to Regularity by Mrs. Benny Hinn
  • Fulfilling Your Dreams Through Good Credit by Ron Blue and Larry Burkett and Dave Ramsey
  • The Perfect Disney Vacation by Richard Land and Don Wildmon
  • How To Put the "Fun" in Fundamentalism: Happy Times at Longview by James Spurgeon (see here)
  • NIV Positive: The Christian's Guide to Modern Bibles by The Staff at Gullion's

Found only in your local bookstores:
  • Three Points and a Poem by Skip Cartin
  • Powerful Points: New and Exciting Ideas for the Powerpoint User by Skip Cartin
  • All God's Creatures: Why Christians and Hunting Just Don't Mix by Philip McGaha
  • Children's Sermons That will Bless Your Socks Off by Carrie Allen
  • Why Christians Should Avoid Motorcycles: Jesus, Legion and Hogs by Brian Burgess
  • 1,oo1 Great Welcome Messages by Mark Collins
  • The Order of Worship: How to Organize and De-Clutter Your Office by Rodney Harrison
  • To The Point: A Succinct Guide to Less Lengthy Sermons, Lessons, Blog Posts and More by Jeff Spry
  • Phone Etiquette by Jeff Spry
  • Plumbing by Jeff Spry
  • The Deadly Dangers of TIVO by Jeff Spry
  • Hide Or Seek?: Twelve Can't-Miss Ideas to Building Your Own Seeker-Friendly Mega-Church by Jeff Spry
  • How To Win in Fantasy Football co-written by Chuck Nantz, Mike Cline, Andy Rosenbalm, Bruce Roberts, Hank Dahl, Ben Bryan, Rick Cline, Mark Mahaffey, Kenny Morrison and Greg Davis
Can you think of any other books you probably will not see any time soon?


Anonymous said...

"The Food and Sight-Seeing Guide to Washington D.C." by Jeff Spry and Mike Cline

Anonymous said...

"YOU NEED JEE-SUS!!! by Brian Burgess

Anonymous said...

"Traveling with Six, no wait, Eight Children!" by Ambra Spry and Linda Cline

Bruce Roberts said...

Does your plumbing book contain a chapter on how to single handedly flood 500 square feet of WABC with just one urinal?

Jeff A. Spry said...

Yes, that is chapter six. However, it is only 1 sentence: "Turn that screw up near the handle until the valve comes off in a powerful torrent that might crack your ribs if you're standing right in front of it."

Chuck said...

"There's Really Not a Bear Knocking on the Front Door" by Jeff and Ambra Spry

Mike Cline said...

How to be "Elected" when your not even running. By Jeff Spry